This is the story as it appeared in
the #modarchive IRC channel. Enjoy!
[00:38] * SLAM[CD-CoS] wonders if he
should tell a story like Christofori does.
[00:39] <grl> as long as i'm not in it :P
[00:39] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Ah...
[00:39] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Yes, it was rather unfortuanate, wasn't it...
[00:39] <grl> yeah, i don't wanna be the witch lol
[00:39] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> lol
[00:39] <grl> with shit coloured skin
[00:39] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> I tihnk I can find something for you :-).
[00:39] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> LOL
[00:40] <grl> good, i'll be the beautiful princess with the perfect bod.
and big titties and all that good stuff
[00:40] <NeZbiE> hey?
[00:40] <grl> oh wait, i already am!
[00:40] <grl> haha
[00:40] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Okay, but you'll be the mechanic.
[00:40] * NeZbiE slaps AcidDose around a bit with a large
trout
[00:40] * NeZbiE slaps AcidDose around a bit with a large
trout
[00:40] * NeZbiE slaps AcidDose around a bit with a
large trout
[00:40] * NeZbiE slaps AcidDose around a bit with a
large trout
[00:40] <grl> ooo the mechanic...
[00:40] * NeZbiE slaps [food]33 around a bit with a large
trout
[00:40] * NeZbiE slaps [food]33 around a bit with a
large trout
[00:40] * NeZbiE slaps [food]33 around a bit with a
large trout
[00:40] <grl> NeZbiE!
[00:40] * NeZbiE slaps [food]33 around a bit with a large
trout
[00:40] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Nezbie is begging to get kicked.
[00:40] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> (Isn't he?)
[00:40] <grl> no kidding
[00:40] * SLAM[CD-CoS] wonders if he's wrong.
[00:40] <NeZbiE> POWER SLAP FOR THE PEOPLE!
[00:40] <grl> git NeZbiE
[00:40] <NeZbiE> Sorry
[00:40] * SLAM[CD-CoS] slaps NeZbiE around a three-inch
programming book.
[00:40] <grl> goodnight!
[00:40] <NeZbiE> :((((
[00:40] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> :-)
[00:40] <NeZbiE> Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!
[00:41] <NeZbiE> I'm sorry
[00:41] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> *thwap*
[00:41] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Okay :-).
[00:41] <NeZbiE> PLEASE FORGIVE ME!
[00:41] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Yes.
[00:41] <NeZbiE> DONT BURN ME
[00:41] <NeZbiE> I DONT WANNA DIE
[00:41] <grl> go
[00:41] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Okay, so DOES ANYONE WANT TO HEAR A STORY NOW?
[00:41] <grl> don't make me assist you in leaving
[00:41] * NeZbiE shrinks into a little hole
[00:41] <grl> if it's a quick one, i gotta go to bed in a few
[00:42] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Oh...it may take a while...
[00:42] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> I don't know :-S.
[00:42] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> I'll start anyway :-).
[00:42] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> K?
[00:42] <grl> sure
[00:42] <grl> wait!
[00:42] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> So...anyone else?
[00:42] <grl> i gotta put my clothes in the dryer
[00:42] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Okay.
[00:42] <grl> well you can start anyway i'll catch up when i get back
[00:42] <NeZbiE> Oooooh
[00:43] <NeZbiE> Soooo?
[00:43] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> The story is called, "Station #MA."
[00:43] <NeZbiE> ok
[00:43] <NeZbiE> Move along now
[00:43] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Our story begins as we see a beautiful princess
with a perfect bod, big titties, and all that stuff, casually throwing her
clothes in the dryer.
[00:44] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Her name was "grl," and although she and
others thought of her as a princess, by profession she was a starship mechanic.
[00:44] <NeZbiE> lol :)
[00:45] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> She was hurrying to dry her laundry and take her
ship, the S.S. 32MB, to move into a new job at...
[00:45] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SPACESTATION #MA! *eerie echo.
[00:45] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Finally, the Atmoic Cryer (TM) made a
"ding!" sound, signalling that the clothes were done after the 150ms
tumble-dry cycle.
[00:46] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> *Er...Atomic Dryer.
[00:46] <grl> lol
[00:46] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> She tossed the clothes into a suitcase, and threw
it into the trunk of her ship.
[00:46] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> She then jumped into the Trusty old S.S. 32MB's
cockpit, and blasted off for SPACESTATION #MA! *eerie echo.
[00:47] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> LEaving her entire life behind her for her new job.
[00:47] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Well," she thought, "at least my
brother won't ask me to babysit anymore."
[00:47] <grl> lmao
[00:48] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Finally, she jumped into TCPspace, and, after a
90ms journey, warped back out, and beheld SPACESTATION #MA! *eerie echo.
[00:49] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> There were several landing platforms to choose
from, but looking at her ship's configuration, the nice controller gave her
clearance to land on the Windows platform.
[00:49] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> She was met immediately by Brainwash, the reluctant
mechanic of the station's EtherDrive.
[00:50] <grl> hehehe
[00:50] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Ay!," he said in a Scottish accent,
"It's about time you were 'ere! The ports just had a pow'r surge and port
80's plum frozen over!"
[00:51] <grl> lol
[00:51] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Aren't ou supposed to fix that?" grl
asked.
[00:51] <AcidDose> lol
[00:51] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Ay, lassie, I am," Brainwash said,
looking her up and down for a second, "But I don't know crap about
networkin'!"
[00:52] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Then why are you the engineer for the
EtherDrive?"
[00:52] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Well, SLAM thought I could handle the job
till he came back. But if we don't get this port 80 fixed, nO ONE'S going to be
coming back, and we'll lose our position in the cyberspace-time contiunuum!"
[00:52] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> So grl rushed down to the reactor room with
Brainwash immediately to check out the situation.
[00:53] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Sure enough, just as Brainwash had said, the port
marked "80" was fused shut!"
[00:53] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> grl took out her red nail polish, and painted a red
bullseye on the blocked port...
[00:53] <grl> lol
[00:54] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Then yanked out her three-foot-wrench, and gave the
port a good beating.
[00:54] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> In seconds, port 80 was open and functioning again.
[00:54] <grl> yay
[00:54] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Needless to say, plenty of people were waiting for
SPACE STATION #MA! *eerie echo. to get back on the net again, and so the poor
controller was nearly swamped as ships poured in.
[00:55] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Some were just Tumbleweeds, who came and went, but
they still confused the operators.
[00:55] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> grl rushed topside immediately to see if any ships
needed assitance.
[00:55] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Of course, many of them did, especially those on
the Windows platform.
[00:56] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> They were always experiencing breakdowns from
iimproper maintenence and lack of good workmanship.
[00:56] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Ay, me!" Brainwash exclaimed, "at
least this is some
werk I can doo!"
[00:56] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> He picked up his own three-foot-wrench and went to
work immediately on a ship called the Christo_AW, belonging to one Christofori.
[00:57] <[food]33> OMG what is this?
[00:57] *** [food]33 is now known as TrenteTrois
[00:57] <grl> lol
[00:57] <grl> shush it's story time
[00:57] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> If Brainwash sucked at networking, he was at least
a good mechanic, and grl was soon glad to have his help as the ships started
landing.
[00:57] *** NeZbiE is now known as NeZbiE[A]
[00:57] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Finally, a ship that had remained silent to the ops
the entire time made it's approach.
[00:57] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> It was the S.S. Trout, belonging to James-Bond.
[00:58] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> James-Bond apparently was a quiet type, and didn't
even bother to acknowledge the ops, as he landed at his place on the Linux
platform.
[00:58] <grl> hehe
[00:59] *** James-Bond has quit IRC (Read error:
Connection reset by peer)
[00:59] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Well, shatter me shamrocks!" Brainwash
exclaimed, "Ol' Jimmy there is needin' assistance! You finish up here, grl,
I'm heading to the Linux platform!"
[00:59] <grl> LOL
[01:00] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> However, as soon as Brainwash got there, James-Bond
had taken off again.
[01:00] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> But Brainwash had to stay because there was more
coming his way.
[01:00] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> A ship called the S.S. NAB, belonging to SLAM, made
it's approach.
[01:00] * grl has to go to bed :/
[01:00] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM's ship was different.
[01:01] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> It slipt in half, and half landed on the Windows
platform, while the other half landed on the Linux platform.
[01:01] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> It was a "dual-booting drive" ship.
[01:01] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Ah, okay, gnit.
[01:01] <grl> see you tomorrow slam :)
[01:01] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> I'll save the chat :-).
[01:01] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Night :-).
[01:01] <grl> ok
[01:01] <grl> nite ;)
[01:01] *** grl is now known as grl[zz]
[01:01] <NeZbiE[A]> Hey, FINISH IT!
[01:01] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Okay :-).
[01:02] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> grl started flirting with SLAM, and as she worked
they swapped their favorite sandwhich recipies.
[01:02] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> All of a sudden, Christofori walked over, and
bludgeoned SLAM on the head with a piece of paper.
[01:03] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM greeted him cheerfully, and asked how his
rondomizing code was coming. Looking at the wimpy piece of paper in his hand,
Christofori replied, "Not so good."
[01:04] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Christofori immediately struck up an arguement with
grl, and SLAM left them just as grl was pulling out her three-foot-wrench again.
[01:04] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM heeaded into the station, and went up three
levels with the intention of finding some ph00d. It eluded him for several
minutes, until he saw a vending machine clearly marked "ph00d."
[01:05] <NeZbiE[A]> lol
[01:05] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Inserting some csh into the machine (which he had
retreived from the Linux half of his ship) SLAM purchased some SIMM chips, and
began munching away happily.
[01:05] *** lateq has joined #modarchive
[01:06] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Suddenly, in walked none other than AcidDose,
carrying threehundred bound sheets of paper.
[01:06] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "What are you doing?" SLAM asked him.
[01:06] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "I'm writing the code for my new tracker
program," AcidDose replied, "It can rip voices from humans, animals,
non-huimans, stars, and even other dimensions!"
[01:06] <NeZbiE[A]> Hehe :P
[01:07] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Yeah, sounds great," SLAM commented,
"can I get a beta version of that sometime?"
[01:07] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Yes, of course," AcidDose replied
happily, and gave SLAM a piece of paper with the address where he could pick up
the beta.
[01:07] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Thanks," SLAM replied, "Will it run
on my 486?"
[01:07] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> AcidDose made a kind of snorting noise, and walked
on.
[01:08] <NeZbiE[A]> =D (you have a 486??)
[01:08] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> In the meantime, the arguement outside between grl
and Christofori had escalated.
[01:08] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> (Yes, I'm on it right now :-).)
[01:09] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> grl was now pounding away at him with a slightly
bent three-foot-wrench, while Christofori was desperately hammering his
randomizer module to spit out a good weapon.
[01:09] *** lateq has quit IRC (Quit: )
[01:09] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Finally, it surrendered a "golf clup,"
which isn't quite like a golf club, but good enough for Christofori's purposes,
apparently.
[01:10] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> grl tried radioing the ops to send down security,
but the ops were too busy trying to keep the incoming ships from speaking in
French.
[01:10] <NeZbiE[A]> =D
[01:11] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> grl pulled out a remote control, and summoned the
maintenence bot, ModStats, to come over and help her.
[01:11] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> ModStats couldn't do much physically, but he did
make note of one of Christofori's comments, and posted it all over the station
to embarrass him.
[01:11] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> :-)
[01:11] <NeZbiE[A]> :)))
[01:12] <NeZbiE[A]> :)))))))) (Take off that nose!!!)
[01:12] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Humiliated and defeated for a time, Christofori
climbed back aboard his own ship.
[01:12] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> LOL
[01:12] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Meanwhile, a ship called the "n00b"
belonging to NeZbiE, finally pulled toward th station.
[01:12] <NeZbiE[A]> GO me!
[01:12] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Under the threat of being kicked, NeZbiE had
finally stopped talking in French and trying to smack the ops with a Rather
Large Trout (TM).
[01:13] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Yes, go you :-).
[01:13] <NeZbiE[A]> :P
[01:13] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Taking his example, his friend TrenteTrois also
landed on the Windows platform.
[01:13] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Soon, a ship jumped in that had the shape of a cat.
[01:14] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> The side of the ship, which was shaved of fur, read
"S.S. Pokkit."
[01:14] *** Christo_AW is now known as Christofori
[01:14] <Christofori> I am back.
[01:14] * Christofori wallops SLAM[CD-CoS] with a remote
control!
[01:14] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> BardCat was the pilot, and he landed it on the
little-used OS/2 platform.
[01:14] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Hi :-).
[01:14] <NeZbiE[A]> LOL :)
[01:14] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Read up, Christofori, SLAM's the storyteller
tonight, w00t :-D!
[01:14] <Christofori> ah
[01:15] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Hey!" BardCat yelled, "Can't a
Canadian get some service around here?"
[01:15] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "No!" grl yelled over from the Windows
platform, "No one here knows any OS/2!
[01:15] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "
[01:16] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Disappointed, BardCat tried unsuccessfully to anger
all the occupants of the station, and then took off again for his home planet,
Quebec.
[01:16] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Thanks to the quick and skilled work of grl and
Brainwash, the ships that had landed were speedily repaired, ahppied up, and
sent on their way.
[01:17] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> At least, they were SUPPOSED to be sent on their
way.
[01:17] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> The ops had fallen asleep from the rough time
they'd had keeping everyone from speaking French.
[01:17] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> So everyone just hung around chatting.
[01:18] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM and AcidDose were sitting in the dining hall
again, and AcidDose was telling him yet more about his new tracker. "Yes,
all it does is produce chiptunes, because chiptunes rock."
[01:18] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM heartily agreed, although he had no tracking
skill.
[01:18] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Suddenly, ModStats rolled in.
[01:18] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> It then switched from wheels to stubby feet, and
waddled on over to SLAM.
[01:19] <NeZbiE[A]> :P
[01:19] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Christofori really wanted everyone to know
what he was doing: 273 descriptions in all! Runner-up: SLAM[CD-CoS] with 272
total descriptions."
[01:20] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM, of course, was outraged, and dashed out to
the landing pad to meet Christofori, the whole time readying his new Ninjutsu
presets.
[01:20] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> However, SLAM was in for a surprise.
[01:21] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> A ship called the S.S. Knife, piloted by none other
than X-Acto, decided to jump out of TCPspace and barnstorm the Windows platform
while the ops were asleep.
[01:21] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> He slashed past the door to the inside area just as
SLAM was walking out...
[01:21] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> BLAMMO!
[01:21] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM went flying into outer cyberspace.
[01:21] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> X-Acto, listening to loud music, didn't even notice
the impact as he went around for another pass.
[01:22] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Christofori, against his principles, had fallen
asleep in his ship, and didn't know what was happening.
[01:22] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> grl ducked and ran for cover as X-Acto came around
again.
[01:23] <Christofori> lol
[01:23] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Just then, pilotbris jumped out of TCPspace in his
fighter, and targeted X-Acto's engines, seeing what was happening.
[01:23] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> X-Acto took a direct hit, and had to use the last
of his power to emergency land on the Windows platform.
[01:23] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> (Ah, caught up, I see :-).)
[01:23] <Christofori> yup :P
[01:23] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> He knocked over grl's multi-drawer tool set, which
really pissed her off.
[01:24] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Although she had broken her three-foot-wrench
fighting Christofori, she picked up the two halves, and attacked X-Acto akimbo.
[01:25] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> The *thwack* of the one-and-a-half-foot-wrenches
woke up the ops, and they soon had control of the situation.
[01:25] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> They kicked X-Acto immediately for the damage he
caused. They were going to kick guiltbris too, but...
[01:25] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> pleasurebris taught them something they didn't know
how to do, so they let him stay.
[01:26] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> joyousbris whooped so loudly, that he woke the
sleeping dragon that was Christofori.
[01:26] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Christofori remembered his secret weapon, the
powerful 1000-foor lightsaber OF DOOM! *eerie echo.
[01:27] <Christofori> lol
[01:27] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> He pulled it out, and leapt from his cockpit
yelling.
[01:27] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> grl's eyes went wide.
[01:27] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> She ran.
[01:28] <AcidDose> wow, i'm making crazy music today lol
[01:28] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "What the blinkin' bloody blazes is..."
Brainwash began as he walked back onto the Windows platform. He was just in time
to see Christofori's saber swing across in a wide arc that cut through half the
station.
[01:28] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Meanwhile, AcidDose was still in the dinner hall
making crazy music, and felt the floor vibrate.
[01:28] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> He packed up his code (now 350 pages long) and
left.
[01:29] <Christofori> sounds about right..
[01:29] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Christofori saw the damage he caused, and saw the
ops frown at him. The ops, fortuanately, were having a good time up theree at
the moment though, so the y let him off the hook when we shut the lightsaber
off.
[01:29] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> *when he
[01:30] *** HyoCHAN has joined #modarchive
[01:30] <Christofori> lol
[01:30] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Suddenly, one last ship, belonging to HyoCHAN,
exiting TCPspace, and made a nose-dive for the Windows platform.
[01:31] <HyoCHAN> :D
[01:31] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> He hit the platform at and angle, and bounced off,
at the same time smashing into Shristofori.
[01:31] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> His ship flew off into outer cyberspace, carrying
Christofori with it, and HyoCHAn was thrown clear into the ops post of the
station.
[01:31] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Christofori realized he only had one chance left.
[01:32] *** TrenteTrois has quit IRC (Quit: )
[01:32] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Using the powers he had only written about so far,
he looked deep inside the SPACE STATION #MA! *eerie echo. to located grl. He did
so, and activated his lightsaber one last time.
[01:32] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> It stabbed through the shielding.
[01:32] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Piereced the outer hull plateing.
[01:32] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Broke open a bulkhead.
[01:32] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Shot through the wall.
[01:32] <Christofori> Go me!
[01:32] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> And grl barely saw the blade coming in time to
duck...
[01:33] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> It singed her perfect hair, but worse than that, it
flew into the reactor, and smashed right into the already-faulty port 80!
[01:33] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Immediately, tremors were felt all over...SPACESTATION
#MA! *eerie echo.
[01:34] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> The ops, ironically, had just finished what
teachbris had taught them, and thought that the station rocking was their fault
someehow.
[01:34] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> They scrambled about in confusion.
[01:35] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> HyoCHAN, having been unconscious for several
minutes, woke up suddenly, with the ship rocking all about.
[01:35] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> *Er...station.
[01:35] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> He looked for his ship, but soulcn't see it
anywhere. He would have to hitch a ride somewhere...
[01:35] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> As he dashed through the hall, he turned a corner,
and ran into good old AcidDose.
[01:36] <HyoCHAN> <(^-------^)>
[01:36] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Ran into him so hard in fact, that HyoCHAn got
knocked cold again.
[01:36] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> AcidDose, however, had the most messages in the
entire station, according to ModStats, and didn't want to uin his
reputation, so he picked HyoCHAN up and carried him off to his ship.
[01:37] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> ModStats tried to follow, but suddenly a bulkhead
marked "typhoon.ma.us.dal.net" tumbled from the ceiling and smashed
his little boxy body.
[01:37] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Meanwhile, grl's perfect bod was down in
engineering, desperately trying to fix the damage Christofori's lightsaber had
caused.
[01:38] <Christofori> Ah yes, back to the good part :)
[01:38] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Suddenly understanding the stress of an engineer's
job, she immedately developed an accent like Brainwahs's.
[01:38] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Indeed :-).
[01:38] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Brainwash ran immediately into the engine room.
[01:39] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Mye stars, lassie, what've yeh done with me
precious ports?!?" he exclaimed in his very perturbed and perturbing
Scottish accent.
[01:39] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Who are you talking to?" grl demanded,
"you already said you suck at networking!"
[01:40] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Brainwash shut up, and went back topside to repair
the ships, in case they needed to evacuate.
[01:40] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> grl kept rewiring stuff, crawling through tight
tubes full of blinking lights, using a machette to slash through hanging cords,
and the like, until she found what she was looking for.
[01:41] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Her two-foot, eleven-ish-wrench.
[01:41] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> A three-foot-wrench would be just too big for this
job.
[01:41] <Christofori> lol
[01:42] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Painting port 80 once again with a bullseye with
her red nail polish, She hurled the wrench into port 80, closing the circuit,
and restoring their position in the cyberspace-time continuum.
[01:42] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> However, there was a slight lurch as they regained
their balance...
[01:42] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> And ModStats had taken that oppurtunity to go for a
waddle out on the Linux platform.
[01:43] <Christofori> heh.. !seen ModStats :)
[01:43] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> He went flying into space babbling "1370
lines, 1253 lines, 943 lines..." as he flew.
[01:43] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Yeah :-).
[01:44] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> The lurch also made it so that SLAM and Christofri
landed right in front of each other on the Windows Platform.
[01:44] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM immediately
[01:44] * SLAM[CD-CoS] assumes Ichimonji no Kamae
(defensive posture).
[01:44] * Christofori enables his protective anti-Slam
sheilding
[01:44] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> To which Christofori replied with his randomzing
script...
[01:44] * Christofori teases SLAM[CD-CoS] with an uzi!
[01:44] <Christofori> hehe
[01:44] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> While also enabling his protective anti-slam
shielding.
[01:45] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> (Good job :-).)
[01:45] <Christofori> tx
[01:45] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM just couldn't resist the uzi, and went right
for it...
[01:45] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> And Christofori fired it...
[01:45] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> However, he had messed something up in his
script...
[01:45] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Spelling it "uzi" instead of
"UZI"
[01:45] * Christofori A@&N(Q*NQW*WQ()M!*)
[01:45] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> And it misfired.
[01:45] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Igniting the entire magazine...
[01:46] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> And blowing both of them back into space in
opposite directions.
[01:46] * Christofori goes into Matrix Mode (TM)
[01:46] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> totherescuebris manned his ship immediately, and
flew off to pick up Christofori, since opinionatedbris thought that SLAM was too
new to SPACESTATION #MA *eerie echo. to be rescued first.
[01:47] <Christofori> Aww :)
[01:47] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Luckily, though, SLAM ran headfirst into the
cat-shaped ship of BardCat.
[01:47] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> It saved him, but...
[01:47] <Christofori> It also raped him!
[01:47] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "NO NO NO NO NO!" SLAM screamed and
kicked as the S.S. Pokkit touched down on the OS/2 platform.
[01:48] <Christofori> lol
[01:48] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM knew what was coming next, so he tried to run
from the ship.
[01:48] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> However, he didn' tknow how to "run"
things in OS/2, so he head to learn to walk all over again, as he slowly but
surely made it to the door.
[01:48] <Christofori> lol
[01:48] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Finally, he reached it, and said, "I'm never
using OS/2 again."
[01:49] <Christofori> lol.. it's like a bad trip :)
[01:49] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> BardCat, however, had jumped out of his ship,
lugging along his massive rudely-named IRC client with him.
[01:49] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Yes :-).
[01:50] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM, having made it to the station area, ran
immediately to the dinner hall for some ph00d.
[01:50] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> BardCat caught up with him, and saw the strange
vending machine.
[01:50] <Christofori> Meanwhile, Christofori had just polished off his
other Kit-Kat bar..
[01:50] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "ph00d?" he questioned mockingly, trying
to annoy
SLAM, "ph00d is gay."
[01:51] <Christofori> ph00d is gay!
[01:51] <Christofori> lol
[01:51] <Christofori> I've got a /gay alias for just that reason :)
[01:51] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Christofori would have answered him from his bar,
the Kit-Kat, but he was floating in outer cyberspace on slowbris's ship.
[01:51] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> :-)
[01:52] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM ignored BardCat as he deposited more csh into
the vending machine and received a pack of GeForce 2 gum.
[01:53] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> BardCat, not about to give up this time, followed
SLAM to the Kit-Kat, where SLAM nicely decided to take over for Christofori, who
was his friend anyway.
[01:53] * SLAM[CD-CoS] walks behind the bar, pulls out a
rag, and starts polishing the bar top.
[01:53] * Christofori mixes up a martini for SLAM[CD-CoS].
[01:53] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> BardCat sits at the bar, asking for a dirnk.
[01:53] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> (You're not back yet.)
[01:54] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> scr00dbris started having engine trouble, and
couldn't quite get back to SPACESTATION #MA! *eerie echo. right away.
[01:54] <Christofori> I know; I was going to keep it cold for ta
[01:54] <Christofori> ya
[01:54] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> He tapped on the engine housing behind his seat.
[01:54] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> And tapped it some more.
[01:54] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> cluelessbris kept tapping, not realizing the damage
he was doing.
[01:55] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Finally, the engine housing blew up, sending
Christofori and shockedbris hurtling toward the statino again.
[01:55] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> They flew...
[01:55] <Christofori> poor Arlenbris..
[01:55] <Christofori> Dah!
[01:55] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> hit the window surrounding the dinner hall....
[01:55] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Crashed through...
[01:55] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> And didn't stop...
[01:55] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM was just about to put a martini in his paint
haker.
[01:56] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Christofori flew into the machine, followed by
accidentalbris, who bumped up the shake time on his way in as well.
[01:56] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> The door slammed shut.
[01:56] <Christofori> uh oh..
[01:57] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM, not knowing what had happened, hit the start
butotn out of instinct...
[01:57] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> And the paintshaker started.
[01:57] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM soon realized there was something wrong,
because the machine was hopping and bouncing as if it had a lot of extra weight
in it.
[01:57] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> However, it was bouncing and hopping so much, that
he couldn't hit the off switch.
[01:58] * Christofori is dizzy..
[01:58] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> So Christofori and shaken-not-stirredbris were
trapped in the wobbling machine with a martini, which Christofori
immediately drank.
[01:59] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Just then, James-Bond returned, and entered the
bar, uttering the only line he had said in the last week "Get me a mrartini,
shaken, not stirred."
[01:59] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM thought, "You have no idea..."
[01:59] * SLAM[CD-CoS] pulls out his flak cannon.
[01:59] * SLAM[CD-CoS] aims his flak cannon straight at
paint_shaker and triggers a speedy metal spray!
[01:59] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> The machine shut down, finally, and he popped open
the door.
[02:00] <Christofori> Sheesh! Why didn't you just unplug it??
[02:00] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> He pulled out a mertini can, which he noticed was
unreasonably heavy..
[02:00] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> .And poured it in James-Bond's martini glass.
[02:00] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Out popped a drunk, confused Christobris.
[02:00] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> That's right, folks, the shaking can combine more
things than just drinks.
[02:01] *** Christofori is now known as Christobris
[02:01] *** Christobris has quit IRC (Killed (fork.ca.us.dal.net
(Christofori(?) <- rhythm.hub.us.dal.net[ircd@localhost])))
[02:01] *** Christobris has joined #modarchive
[02:01] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> lol
[02:01] <Christobris> doh!
[02:01] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Librifori looked around in utter confusion.
"Huh...wha?" he managed to stammer out.
[02:02] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Not knowing exactly what to do at the moment,
Cribolibri walked into a corner and began to do what he did best.
[02:03] <Christobris> lol
[02:03] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM, James-Bond, and BardCat watched speechlessly,
unsure of what to do.
[02:03] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Finally, grl and Brainwash came into the bar.,
[02:04] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Blow up the Blarney Blast!" Brainwash
exclaimed, "not again!"
[02:04] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "You mean this has happened before?" SLAM
asked.
[02:04] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Ay, laddie, it has," grl answered.
[02:04] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "grl, is that a..." SLAM began to ask,
wondering about the scottish accent.
[02:04] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Ay, laddie, it is," grl answered.
[02:05] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Well, then, can you..." SLAM started
again.
[02:05] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Ay, laddie I can," grl answered.,
[02:05] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "WILL YOU STOP THAT?!?" SLAM yelled.
[02:05] <Christobris> Hahah!
[02:05] *** Christobris is now known as Libtofori
[02:06] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Nay, laddie," grl answered, when you've
been workin' as a mechanic as long as I 'ave, it sorta tekes o'er."
[02:06] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> :-)
[02:06] <Libtofori> No! Never!
[02:06] *** Libtofori is now known as Christobrilib
[02:06] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Thanks for names :-).
[02:06] <Christobrilib> They're random each time I type
[02:06] *** Christobrilib is now known as Librifori
[02:06] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> :-)
[02:07] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> grl grabbed Librifori's hair as Brainwash
Christobrilib in the butt.
[02:07] * Librifori flashes his large 1000-ft light-sabre
around violently.
[02:07] <Librifori> ha!
[02:07] *** Librifori is now known as Christobrilib
[02:07] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Out popped Christofori, while traumatizedbris sat
there, still doing what he did best.
[02:08] <Christobrilib> Oh..
[02:08] *** Christobrilib is now known as Librifori
[02:08] <Librifori> oops!
[02:08] *** Librifori is now known as Libtobris
[02:08] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> lol
[02:08] *** Libtobris is now known as Christofori
[02:08] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Ay, a day o' celebration!" grl declareed.
[02:08] * Christofori is dazed and confused
[02:08] <Christofori> Yes!
[02:08] * Christofori concocts a wine cooler for everyone
in the house!
[02:08] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> grl and Brainwash jumped into traditional Scottish
outfits, then climbed up onto the bar to dance.
[02:09] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Brainwash made up a clever Irish song describing
the occassion, which was so good that no one remembers it to this day.
[02:09] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Mostly because of Christofori's wine cooler, which
contained Nutrasweet, which made everyone forget the details.
[02:09] <Christofori> lol
[02:09] * Christofori shakes up a shot of tiquila for
everyone in the house!
[02:09] <Christofori> A Toast for SLAM[CD-CoS]! Here's to SLAM[CD-CoS]!
May you have good fortune!
[02:10] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Thank you :-).
[02:10] <Christofori> np
[02:10] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Christofori, sat in a corner, rubbing his head,
wondering why his luck was so rotten today, while contentbris sat in the
opposite corner and...yeah, still.
[02:11] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Everyone was so happy, that they forgot about
something.
[02:11] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Two things, actually.
[02:11] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Suddenly, SLAM signalled everyone to quiet down.
[02:11] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> He turned on the raido.
[02:11] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> They all gathered round and listened carefully.
[02:11] <Christofori> radio on a space station.. lol
[02:11] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> It was a broadcast from ModStats, floating out in
space!
[02:12] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> (Exactly :-) remember, this is like 1950's scifi,
with things like grl's atmoic clothes dryer.)
[02:12] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> They could only determine one thing...
[02:12] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> THAT THE SPEECH WAS IN FRENCH!
[02:12] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> As they looked amongst themselves, they relaized
that NeZbiE and TrenteTrois were not amongst them!
[02:13] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> In horror they looked out the window, and as the
voices on the radio screamed th French version of "Aiiiiiieeeeeeee!"
they saw two very fast moving ships coming towards to window.
[02:13] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> The ships smashed into the bar
[02:13] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> hit the opposite bulkhead...
[02:13] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> knocked loose the typhoon.ma.us.dal.net beam, which
kicked half the people in the room.
[02:14] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Everyone was on the floor.
[02:14] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM was behind the bar, and the first to look up
and behold on final object.
[02:15] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> A small, boxy object with short waddling legs,
flying, and screaming at the top of his lungs, "WARHAWK COULDN'T DECIDE
WHETHER OR NOT TO STAY, AND JOINED #MODARCHIVE TWENETY-SEV...!!!"
[02:15] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM's eyes widened as the flailing bot rushed in
and smacked him right in the face.
[02:16] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Upon creaming SLAM's head into the wall, ModStats
finished quietly "...times."
[02:16] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> However, a disastrous thing had happened.
[02:16] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SLAM's head and hit a switch on the wall...
[02:16] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Which turned on a light..
[02:16] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Which pulled far to omuch power...
[02:16] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> and overloaded a relay.
[02:16] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> which blew, sending a surge down to engineering...
[02:17] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Which blasted port 80 yet again.
[02:17] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> grl had been kicked when the typhoon.ma.us.dal.net
beam had fallen, and SLAM was...let us say incapacitated.
[02:17] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> That left only one person who might, just MIGHT be
able to fix the faulty port 80 again.
[02:17] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> BRAINWASH *eerie echo.
[02:18] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Brainwash dashed downstairs, for the first time
in...however long...being so scared that he managed to drop the Scottish accent.
[02:18] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> He saw that the problem was the same...
[02:18] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Port 80 was a broken circuit.
[02:19] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> There was nothing with a length of two feet and
eleven inches, except, except...
[02:19] <Christofori> oh no...
[02:19] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Pointing one arm straight down, and thrusting his
right elbow out, he leapt headfirst into port 80, closing the circuit!
[02:19] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Once again, someone has heroically save
SPACESTATION #MA! *eerie echo.
[02:20] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Betterbris finally recovered from his trauma, and
fixed the typhoon.ma.ua.dal.net bea, which brought everyone back again.
[02:20] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> And everyone was happy, even SLAM had recovered,
and was serving drinks again.
[02:21] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Everyone was happy, of course, except Brainwash...
[02:21] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Who was channeling about 15 megabits per second
down on port 80.
[02:21] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> "Hey, like I said, I don't know crap baout
networking!" he reminded the people upstairs.
[02:21] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Everyone, however, thought he had done a splendid
job, and drank a toast to him.
[02:22] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> And, as we leave this beloved space station, we see
all our heroes, patrons, and friends, celebrating their adventures and victories
for the day...
[02:22] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Here, on the magnificent...
[02:22] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> SPACESTATION #MA! *eerie echo.
[02:22] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> The End
[02:22] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> :-)
[02:22] * SLAM[CD-CoS] bows
[02:22] <Christofori> Bravo!
[02:23] <Christofori> Hurry and log it before you get kicked or killed by
some random server
[02:23] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> It's being logged in real-time I beleive.
[02:23] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> I'm checking it now.
[02:23] <Christofori> ah
[02:23] <Christofori> good
[02:23] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> :-)
[02:23] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> I set it to log your story last night...
[02:23] <Christofori> I'll put it on my stories section if you want
[02:23] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> And it's been a-logging ever since.
[02:23] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> Okay :-)!
[02:24] <Christofori> Just DCC me a log of it
[02:25] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> I'll try, but I think I can't DCC past our router.
[02:25] <SLAM[CD-CoS]> LOL, the log is too big to read in Notepad :-).