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Life Testimony - Christopher Gerald Molyneux

Written: November 10, 2012

As i began to consider the prospect of putting "pencil to paper" and crafting, drafting, and reworking the words that would become my life testimony, the thought of making it into a book had occurred to me; but the daunting task became of little concern when i realized that it would be better in the form of a speech, which gives the audience the "highlights" of the story, while also allowing and encouraging discourse with individuals that would allow me to relate more details as desired -- which also is a much better format to relate to ALL PEOPLE the story while also being sensitive to each and every individual opportunity i would be given in ministry with (and unto) others. So, rather than "writing a book" of my testimony, which would essentially become a pouring-out of my soul into some meticulous volume of printed and bound material, the details of which would be debated or even doubted and dismissed by some... and ignored or "skimmed" perhaps, by others -- i have instead learned to trust in the guidance of the Holy Spirit as to when and with whom certain aspects of my testimony are shared. As i have become aware through this trusting action, this causes the details from my testimony to be relevant and timely to those i share it with. Now, rest assured -- while this is somewhat lengthy, this is BY FAR the short version... ;) But I have nothing to hide; so if anyone ever wishes to learn more than what is provided here, PLEASE feel free to ask!

Some time ago in a sunday school class, i became aware of the concept of the Nazirite Vow. Since i began this journey of 100% dedication unto the Father, i had (somewhat informally, at first...) begun to adopt the concept of the Nazarite Vow in my life; and hence, much of the direction i've received from Him has been aimed at focusing my life and all things in it, onto Him. This reawakening, or rededication, of my life truly began to take shape approximately 3 years ago now, this past July. It also coincided with the development of each of my songs; the first of which was (coincidentally, of course..!) named "Focus;" and the topics in each one of them since actually show the evolution not only of my life and the lessons He was teaching me at those times, but also might serve as "guide posts" or "light houses" that the Lord can use to direct others. However, we'll pick back up with the Nazirite Vow concept and lessons in my life shortly....

While i accepted Jesus at age 7, i didn't really understand repentance then. As it happens, i would not even truly BEGIN to understand it until just over 3 years ago, from the time these words are written. i was attending a revival then at our church, which was led by a team of lay ministers from all over the country. They each had felt the call to go out and lead churches to revival, and the particular team at my church was literally made up of a person or two from each of many different states. They all converged in Broken Arrow (which, ironically, is also the "code" phrase, used to indicate the presence of a detonated nuclear device...!) and met with their team and our church leadership, and then began the week-long revival.

At that time in life, i had been continuing to live as i'd been accustomed to; each day consisting of several depressing and unfulfilling hours at my IT job, which was then usually followed by a trip to wherever my "band" was set up to either jam (we never got gigs nor wrote any songs...) and/or to also smoke pot and "chill" ... and near the end, i'd even allowed myself to become addicted to crystal meth; though that particular fact was one which i very much desired to keep secret from everyone ELSE, at the time. i was very much a "functional" drug addict. At that time as well, i had grown my hair out to shoulder length at the encouragement of one of the band members; though i hated it being long (especially in the Oklahoma wind with the brutal heat we get lately..!).

Just a few months before that revival i mentioned, we'd been working to prepare for the easter drama/musical at the church. Because my hair was long then, i (more than once) was told that i looked like Jesus (or, the paintings/depictions we understand to represent Him) and was also asked a time or two if i was growing my hair out to play Jesus' part in the drama. Of course, i didn't realize it at that time, but the Father was using all of these things to prepare me for the revival, and for the beginning of my journey of dedication -- even then, months before the revival -- and around our preparations for Easter. You see, each and EVERY time someone remarked at how i resembled Christ in my looks (saying something like: "Wow, you really look like Jesus!"), the Holy Spirit would complete the person's comments in my mind by telling me: "... but you SURE don't act like Him."

The addictions, and depression in my life stemmed from my feeling worthless; or that my life was as if on "borrowed time" perhaps. You see, i'd come very close to dieing on two separate occasions in life -- which i have come to understand, had caused me to become very reckless; my careless actions being accompanied with justifying thoughts like: "i shouldn't be here anyway, i should already have been dead." or "i don't know why God didn't let me die, then." Those thoughts had been allowed to echo throughout my thoughts; and it wasn't long before almost any obstacle encountered during the course of any given day, would nearly serve as a reminder of those near-death experiences; causing the drone of those painful thoughts to occur again, and again. Those hauntingly defeating experiences were catalysts to me, causing my mindset to change from "why?" as a responsible youth, to "why not?" as a young adult. So, they thus became consequences in my mind, for things like the addictions and depression. But having moved past feeling sorry for myself to a place where i felt i had no reason to continue, God then saw fit to open the door of change in my life -- and He began around this time of revival with convictions which were becoming far more intent; as if to instill within me somehow a heightened sense of urgency. They continued from Easter on through my life's path -- and began to reach a plateau which really intensified during the revival. It was because of these actions of the Father in my life that i finally turned to face the truth -- that while yes, perhaps i'd become the scourge of the very earth; detestable even (and especially) to myself (for i KNEW that i was guilty of being the lukewarm "Christian" which professed "belief" with my voice in Jesus but the professions of my life and actions were entirely bent unto sin and evil, selfish desires) that in an instant i KNEW i had to ACT. i HAD to do SOMETHING -- though i had no clue what to do, let alone what to expect. As this was during one of the revival worship services, and as it is customary to follow the message with an invitation, this is the point in time where i found myself -- being spurred onward to DO SOMETHING, to FORCE a change in my life to come about. Yet i had already walked the isle and even been baptized when i was 7 years old (being that i was "born and raised" in the Southern Baptist church, the method of baptism is submersion; which is done to symbolically portray "being buried with Christ, professing a death to the sinful way of life; and then being raised up to walk in newness of life," which symbolizes ones repentance in having become cleansed and restored, as white as snow -- because of the grace of God by the crucifixion, burial, and triumph over death through Christ). So, you can likely imagine my confused, nervous state as i stood there silently during that invitation, in that revival -- 25 years after accepting Christ as a youngster; thinking myself in confidence in my salvation, yet simultaneously grappling with fear and doubt due to my subsequent life of disobedience. But as the Father spoke to me in that moment, i came to know that not only had my life been a lie, but also it caused grief within the Holy Spirit -- i was looking right into a mirror, and i saw a carnal Christian. Yet while this really shook me, and while i was still very much in a bewildered state of being, surrounded by gigantic clouds of fear and doubt; it was there, in the simple stillness of that moment, when the Father again spoke to me. He told me "You're still alive for a reason; you have in front of you a purpose for your life, and it is time to walk that path and ONLY that path. I know you don't understand what you're feeling, and that you have no idea what to expect or where to go -- but remember, as you have been taught: *ALL* I require and expect of you is a willing heart. You are just going to have to trust Me."

In that moment within the invitation (which literally, as you can probably imagine, felt like it was approaching eternity!), i decided to exercise my faith and place my trust in His direction, 100%, forever. As i had always been one to think in fairly concrete and logical patterns, i began to realize such thought had actually become my downfall -- i *THOUGHT* i had been a believer since accepting Christ at age 7; but with that decision then and there to trust in Him, i began to experience more of an awareness of my heart's direction. Because it is the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit, and also the engine which drives our physical existence (as we understand it), it suddenly began to make sense that it (NOT my mind...) should be the authority for my life. Not surprisingly, then, i began to feel my heart tugging me away from the place i had been standing. Immediately, my mind thought: "Wait! What are you doing?! You don't need to walk an isle again, you already did that, remember!?" -- to which my heart responded: "Lord, i don't know what to do next; but i trust you to show my feet exactly where they must land, each and every step of the way."

So there i was, walking out into an aisle; entirely bewildered and not at all sure what was happening. It was VERY surreal -- and i've since come to realize that it felt so odd, because it was the first action i'd truly taken through a repentant spirit, which desired only to exist in harmony with God. It felt so odd to me, because it was the first time i'd actually stepped back from the potter's wheel, and allowed HIS HANDS to begin shaping me. It was literally as if, in that moment, i was transfigured from being an active participant in life, to being merely an observer within the vessel that is me. While some can and shall debate whether or not i was TRULY saved in my original profession unto Jesus when i was 7, i still believe that i WAS -- but because i was told to take subsequent steps (going on to be baptized, when having no clue whatsoever what it meant), the resulting years of sin, in my carnal existence, took place. It might be out of naivety, then -- but the reason i truly believe i was RESCUED from that carnal existence was because i had called upon the name of the Lord as a child, and i DID know that He was God. It was the "guiding light" of my consciousness, the soft, still voice of my conscience, which told me at each step during those years: "Okay, you can do that if you want... but it's going to cause you pain later in life." or "You know that's not the choice I want you to make, but in the end, the lessons you'll have learned will make you a far stronger and sharper weapon; for the hardships you see as torment therein shall actually be the fires in which you will be tempered and hardened." Those were the moments when He spoke to me: a voice which rose up from out of my heart and came to rest within my mind (which of course is the place from where i'd been "charting the vessel's course," or "calling the plays" for my life, as it were...), and the things He said to me just happened to be lessons that had been taught and reinforced within scripture at many occasions throughout my life -- for just as Proverbs 22:6 reminds us: "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it."

Now then... Since i found myself (in that moment of "eternity") aimlessly walking away from the pew, i knew i had no clue what was happening. A few more steps and i noticed i was passing by the place where our Worship Pastor (music minister) Mike Neff happened to be sitting that day -- and Mike was someone who God placed in our church for a short (but EXTREMELY important) period of time. He looked at me with a look of surprise and yet also gladness at the same time -- as i know he could tell that i was pretty emotional -- and for some reason, i witnessed my hand reach out towards him; and then in shock and awe i noticed i was practically dragging him with me to the front..! As i recall, i tried to explain to him what was happening, and gave him the brief (brief) backstory of being saved as a child, and the subsequent conviction from the Holy Spirit, calling me to trust and obey. i had NO CLUE what reason to state, to somehow explain what i was doing up there... there were no words that i could use to communicate all the things that seemed to happen in that "eternal" moment... and part of me even wondered why exactly it was, that i'd ended up moving from my "safe" spot in that pew in the first place! Mike then said to me, "Well it sounds to me like you've been called to rededicate your life to the Lord." Then i felt the first resonance within my spirit; it is literally described by many as "the aesthetic experience" -- a physical emotion which often is described as "chills" up and/or down the spine. i didn't know why i felt physically moved at that moment, but i DID know that it was a feeling that God caused me to experience, right then and there -- and as i have since been taught, it is literally a reward that is felt when i've trusted in Him, willing to step out by faith -- thus acting according to His direction. This resonance of my spirit, the aesthetic experience -- it was a gift which He gave to me to acknowledge my repentance, and reinforce my willingness!

So then Mike and i discussed how i'd been baptised already, but we came to the mutual understanding that i'd not been SCRIPTURALLY baptised -- which is to say, done ONLY when understanding the concept of repentance, in obedience to God's will -- through merely the simple act of becoming willing for God to live my life for me. We set a date for my SCRIPTURAL baptism then, and i continued on in awe as i began to learn what it TRULY meant to be a willing observer (rather than an active participant) in the moments that are my life.

You may be wondering, now, what things about my life could possibly have caused so much pain that i would do such things as seek out drugs, or make reckless choices with absolutely no concern whatsoever for any and all consequences there might (and would) be from those choices -- to turn from the responsible nature i'd been, towards simply "throwing all caution to the wind." To keep it brief, i will sum all of those feelings of rage, hatred, distrust, and confusion into one statement: i'm gay.

i've known all my life, as it turns out. When i was VERY young, i used to sneak into my sister's room when no one was around, and play with her Barbie dolls -- specifically, the Ken dolls. While i'd be in my world of make-believe, i'd several times become curious and would undress the dolls. i remember at those times, feeling less than interested in the Barbie dolls; but boy, did i feel badly for Ken, who i noticed was not at all anatomically correct! Now, you may think "that doesn't make you a homosexual." No, it doesn't. But keep in mind my added interest and emphasis, and even empathy for Ken -- and seemingly, an entire disregard for Barbie. (Sorry, Barbie!!) :)

Now, get this. Those memories, of those particular experiences, were REPRESSED for much of my life. There came a point in life where i began to feel the tugging of "the world" to "grow up" and leave my make-believe and vivid imagination behind me, like everyone else did. It came at a time following the point when i accepted Christ at age 7. i can remember feeling the soft, still voice within me urging me to keep my imagination intact -- which is a large reason in my mind for why i've always been inclined to approach things from a child-like (innocent, accepting, et al...) viewpoint. Now, i do not remember at all which exact point in my life it was, that i forgot the Barbie/Ken memories... but i DO remember exactly when i was able to remember them. We'll get to that in a moment.

So, having placed much of my "daydreaming" ways behind me, i proceeded to live life. There were times, as a child, when i would "experiment" with another boy close to my age (suffice it to say it was similar to the game of "Doctor"). i was also never interested in girls (in fact, the idea pretty much disgusted me when i thought about "going steady" with a girl). And though i could not articulate why, somehow i KNEW i was different... i was not like i was expected to be. Those experiences, over time, caused me to develop the keen ability to "beat myself up" -- knowing even as a youngster that the Bible taught that men are to marry women, and that we believed that anything whatsoever related to sexual "parts" of us were NOT to be engaged with a member of the opposite sex until marriage. So, being the rational kid i was turning into, i decided that my "experiments" with boys didn't go against what the Bible said, because it (in my own, limited understanding of that time) only addressed sexual interaction in the context of marriage -- between ONLY a man and a woman.

To continue "cutting to the chase" i will simply state that life continued on for several more years, until about the time of the revival i've mentioned. Suffice it to say, i began to understand (just as is widely taught) that the Bible supposedly condemns homosexuality; and i of course had considerable problems with placing my feelings and desires into a context juxtaposed from scripture when i would look back to that choice, where i "justified" (in my ignorance..) that what i'd begun then as a child had doomed me and (just as many claim...) would condemn me to burn in hell. So, even though i'd professed that Jesus was Lord, and had called out to Him as a child (and the Bible says to us that ALL who call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved!!!) -- there was still the other hand which held all that fire and brimstone, the interpreted views that because i felt the way i felt, i would be destined to burn. That conundrum concerning my salvation grew to especially hurtful and harmful proportions during my adolescence. But remember that soft, still voice within me that told me to hang onto my imagination, years before? (That was Jesus, by the way...). It was in times of this burden and hardship, when i felt like a living abomination (which, literally means "against tradition" in case you didn't know...) that He spoke, soft and still to me. When i looked back at my choice of justification, made in my ignorance; and felt it was entirely unfair to be condemned to Hell (as everyone claimed gay people would be...) -- and i was driven to moments where i wanted to kill myself because there wasn't anyone i could talk to that could remotely begin to understand what i was going through -- when i wanted to run away -- when i begged God to end my life, because (being rational...) i also knew that taking my own life was NOT something that i'd ever be allowed to act upon... THOSE WERE THE TIMES when the soft, still voice spoke to me, saying "You don't understand it now, and because you don't have the answers you seek, life is going to hurt; and cause you pain. But there will come a day when you DO understand, when you CAN live with yourself! You called upon Me as a child, and because of this you know Me, and will exist with Me forever. So just trust Me -- listen to Me as I teach you, and together we'll make you whole again."

So... living was a mixed blessing. Until i stopped directing my life. Then, God began to work in and through my life; sometimes with a spoken thought or encouragement to others, sometimes in studying and all of the research and determined cross-referencing i'd do of scripture -- so that i might broaden and strengthen my understanding of His word. After the revival, i admitted to my pastor that i'd been gay. He told me that it was against God's plan, contradicting the very design He created for life, and since at that time i'd only begun the "100% dedicated" journey, i didn't really have any insight into the context and history of the scripture to understand and reconcile my physical feelings and desires to my life -- so i took, at that time, the stance that "it was wrong and i have to do all i possibly can so that i might avoid feeling/thinking/acting as i had become accustomed to, previously in my life." i felt, and the pastor agreed, that somehow God was going to "heal" me and make me "normal." He's done so for some, after all!

Since that time, God reminded me many times of what He had told me -- how there would come a time when i would understand my feelings and desires, and how they were supposed to fit into His will for my life. Even so, i still felt damned by that ignorant choice i'd made as a child..! So i eventually came to accept that even though i'd made a choice to be different (as i then remembered things, anyway...) that somehow, it was going to make sense. Someday. So for a while, i just accepted that; and things were better, for a time. But my curiosity wouldn't simply allow things to simply become "acceptable" -- so, i asked God to show me what scripture was supposed to be telling ME -- what the words on the page really said, in such a way that they could speak to my heart, so that i'd be able to gain from the scriptures all that God meant for me specifically -- and how then the message could possibly be applied to my exact situation in life. Over time, He led me (of course) to the story of Sodom and Gomorrah -- including the context of the events leading up to the infamous story of their destruction. Now, Sodom and Gomorrah's ACTUAL sins (as it turns out) were rooted in their spirit of selfish INHOSPITALITY, and turning away from the way of life where they would help those in need -- coming to instead turn outsiders away. This occurred because in the times leading up to the destruction, the people had been manipulated; their hospitality and kindness towards outsiders had been taken advantage of (many times), and over time this caused them to grow entirely untrusting of travellers, deciding to drive them away -- and in doing so, help themselves into that way of life that was entirely unfriendly and hateful towards any who weren't part of the town! Now, think about this for a moment. Does it echo the law of the Torah, or the very life example of Jesus? NOPE... in fact, it is the exact OPPOSITE of what they'd been taught -- and because that attitude was so detestable to the Father; because they had selfishly turned from HIM to decide their own way of doing things, and had as a consequence become wicked and hateful towards all those who came close to them -- because of THAT SIN, the Father sought to destroy the cities, knowing that they had none within their walls who still followed His teachings -- except for, of course, Lot and his family. So then we see where God sent the angels to Lot's household, to warn them to leave the city immediately as it had strayed from God's will and had become detestable to God...!

Let's pause here for just a moment, and think... GOD WAS DISPLEASED WITH SODOM AND GOMORRAH and had decided that He was going to QUICKLY reduce the cities to dust -- before the men of the town came to confront Lot about his rumored harboring of foreigners -- which is of course the moment when they'd also threatened to analy rape (ironically, it is now known as "sodomy...") the angels ("... so that we may know them" as the KJV puts it). Um... okay, so let's see.... The angels came to impress upon Lot and his family a SENSE OF URGENCY to not only leave, but to NEVER LOOK BACK -- for the destruction was IMMINENT. So God had already looked down at the hearts of the citizens in Sodom and Gomorrah, and seen fit to destroy them; but for Lot, who followed God's will -- God sent messengers to warn him so that he and his family would be spared. So then, we come to see the men of the town calling for the strangers (angels) to be turned over to the custody of the city -- those wicked and "abominable" men wanted to show just how visitors in Sodom could expect to be treated..! Now, it should also be noted that what we today call sodomy was, during those times, considered to be the gravest of insults, and it was a very demeaning and poignant way to pretty much destroy a man's self-esteem. And we see that the men in Sodom, just as they stated, wished to proceed with said activity -- because in doing so, they would clearly communicate to the outsiders "you are NOTHING, and you're not welcome here!" -- they intended to rub salt in the wounds of these "untrustworthy" outsiders..! We ourselves today, when faced with a similar desire to "add insult to injury" as it is said, can absolutely relate to the men of Sodom in that moment -- the mindset is IDENTICAL, and it says "... now THIS will teach them..!"

Regardless of God's feeling about their desire to humiliate the angels, let us not forget that GOD WAS ALREADY ABOUT TO DESTROY THE TWO CITIES for the things they HAD ALREADY DONE -- the sins of their wickedness which had already transpired...!

Now, there are other references and instances in the Bible, of course, which either condemn or discourage homosexual actions. But the reason God showed me this important truth about His reasons for destroying Sodom and Gomorrah is quite simple -- even though (as we might understand it...) their "sin" is viewed by most to be of a sexual nature, against the very design that God set forth in creating Adam and Eve -- it was actually the WICKEDNESS, the SELFISHNESS in all members of those cities which so angered the Father that He brought destruction, the likes of "hellfire and damnation" -- in according response unto their chosen path of selfish, unrepentant living. If you truly examine the other mentioned references to Homosexual actions mentioned in the Bible, you'll also discover within them the context of SELFISHNESS behind the actions.

Understand this -- SELFISHNESS IS SIN. Period. Sin is not a "what," but rather it is a "why" -- and because of this, it becomes quite simple for us to understand what is right and wrong for our lives according to God's will for each of us. View any and all of the commandments in scripture in this light, and you will see it to be truth! Why for example is it against God's law to kill or to steal from another person? Because to do so, it would require our minds and hearts to come to a point of SELFISH DETERMINATION that we then proceed to act upon based from that selfishness. We see something our neighbor has, and we covet it; desiring it for ourselves; and so we steal it from them. THE THEFT IS NOT WHAT ANGERS GOD, the SELFISHNESS ANGERS GOD! We perhaps see some "idiotic fool" who "seems to be so dumb that they just don't even deserve their existence" -- they've done something that just "makes one want to shoot them in the head!" And, because of that very SELFISH DETERMINATION in our mind (that came from within the heart), we perform the thought (or act) of murder. THE MURDER IS NOT WHAT ANGERS GOD, the SELFISHNESS that caused us to consider (which is the SAME thing to God, as actually committing an act..!) that murder, friends, is what'll cause God to be grieved!

View the Torah, the 10 commandments, the "golden rule," and of course the very life of Jesus Himself, in this light, and we see that the laws, commandments, and all that Jesus DID were done to SHOW SELFLESS, AGAPE (unconditional) LOVE for others!

So it was upon God's showing me these things, that i then came to understand that it wasn't my "ignorant choice" that determined my fate; it was my desire to serve God and act according to His will for my life. Once that was understood, i then began to consider the fact that, although my life reflected something that was literally AGAINST TRADITION (ie: "ABOMINATION..." the favorite word "spat" out of the mouths of ministers who MISLEAD THEIR CONGREGATIONS INTO THINKING THAT SIN IS A "WHAT" INSTEAD OF A "WHY" and then proceed to blaspheme against God as they step up and into His role as the one who can sit in the throne of judgement, whilst they continue preaching the message of HATE against people who are different, interpreting scripture to fit their WRONG view of God's actions, thoughts, and words...), that my life, like ALL OTHER CREATIONS OF GOD, could be lived in but one of ONLY two ways: selfishly, or selflessly. Then it occurred to me that i, too, had been guilty of blasphemy against God, in my very own judgements AGAINST MYSELF when, as of course as He'd been reminding me all along the way, i had no clear understanding whatsoever over my own feelings, and was not only stepping into His place in my self-judgement, but i was also being quite foolish in leaping to the conclusion that i was hell-bound... all because that's what i was told.... by people.

You know what? God NEVER told me i was going to Hell. He never gave up on me, either! What a fool i'd been, listening to and trusting the belief of man of scripture; when all the while, i was supposed to let His word speak to me, so that i might understand what He wants me to gain from studying His word; and how it fits perfectly into what His will for me and my life is..!

So -- then, after GOD told me that truth, explaining it in such a way that i would finally be able to approach the story with understanding -- it was then, when He showed me how it applied to my life, my feelings, and everything that He made me to be when He formed me. This enabled me to finally see that there was a selfless, GODLY way for me to look at other men -- and to relate my feelings selflessly as well, looking for ways that i could empathise with other men so that i could be about a ministry to them, and for them....

And of course, there was also a selfish, wicked and sinful way to lust after the flesh in the way i'd done for so much of my life -- and to consider my feelings as simply an attraction to the flesh -- a lust which was concerned only with my own will; something that ended THEN AND THERE at the skin; completely disregarding anything of substance in the person -- taking them simply (and only) at face value. Trivializing and ignoring that which was inside others; that which truly is to be of value.

Yes, at that moment of realizing that God created me unique, meaning my feelings were made, special and unique for me -- and they were not the catalyst that could decide my eternal fate; that it was of course much deeper, and ALWAYS originated from the heart with each choice, which from the root of our heart's intent, grow into thoughts of the mind, and then into actions we commit. Yet it really, truly comes down to the root -- the intent within our heart, which is based solely upon either our SELFLESS or SELFISH desire....

You might say, i heard the angels of Heaven singing "Ahhh!" as i finally became enlightened and, just as the Father had promised me so many times in life -- finally, i truly DID understand!

BUT THEN (as if that wasn't awesome enough!!), something else i'd never have expected, happened. At that EXACT moment, God returned my memories of the Barbie/Ken dolls to me, and i again could vividly remember how i'd felt when driven to "examine" Ken and his (albeit incomplete..) nakedness with such a curious scrutiny that was not only absent from Barbie's examination, but blatantly discarded from my thoughts as something that didn't matter AT ALL to me....

And with that revelation, God showed me that it was NOT, in fact, ANY choice i had ever presumed to have made in my life that caused me feel the way i felt. Is this me saying "God made me gay!" ...? No. God made me to be a boy named Christopher Gerald Molyneux, who was exceedingly curious and who was born with feelings and emotions that would not ever change. Based ENTIRELY upon the way i chose to express, experience, and consider the meaning of those feelings, were the actions that lead me along the path of becoming a homosexual.

Before i end this testimony, i must remind everyone of one important truth concerning judgement. In the light of the revelation that our judgement of others is blasphemy, this truth becomes exceedingly important for any who seek God, and desire to do His will in life. That truth is this: it is entirely impossible for any one of us to know the heart of another person; only God may know what is within the heart of a man. Because of this, and also because as we've discovered the nature of sin (to recap: sin is a "WHY" that originates from our hearts, that we may then choose to act upon; and sin is NOT a "what" by any means..! Because each person is unique, and no two are alike, this means that there is NOT one "set" of morals that are RIGHT for ALL PEOPLE, and also not another set of actions, thoughts, or beliefs that are WRONG for all people, either!), we must be very mindful that we NEVER seek to be in judgement of anyone else; NOR over ourselves! Does this imply that i believe we should not be held accountable for our actions; or that everything about us is entirely due to consequences beyond our control? Hardly! What it DOES mean, though, is that we haven't the authority to hold ourselves accountable, much less others. That's what God gave us government for; and they are to be about exacting retribution for those whose actions have been in violation of the laws in our societies. For because "... the government shall be upon His shoulders," and because (as we can see in the book of Genesis) God established the concept of government to act as the earthly, corporeal entity to maintain said societies, ultimately it comes up to God (who is the ABSOLUTE AUTHORITY, as He knows the heart of each and every one of us better than we ever will..!) to be the one to hold each of us, and all of us, accountable for our lives. Remember this, next time you are tempted to come to a conclusion about another of His children...!

Now, as this is merely the "brief" version of my testimony, there are of course a PLETHORA of other details that i could relate. So if you have questions, comments, or would like more about any part of my story, please ask; that is why i live. :D

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